9 years ago
Mirror Mirror on the Wall
Alice's Point of View
Every fragment of my mind was telling me to keep staring at the shiny glass square before me. I had always watched t.v. shows late at night of people with addictions.
There were people who did drugs and chain smoked. I always thought of them as people who didn't care. I thought they could pull back and that they were just not trying hard enough.
But now I knew that's not how it works.
My addiction was something so much different. I was addicted to the mirror.
I was addicted to perfection.
I studied every millimeter of my face picking at the imperfections until my face was covered by swollen little blistery things. I steadied myself on the bathroom sink.
It hurt terribly but I couldn't stop, I couldn't stop.
As I continued with picking away the little bumbs in my skin, I heard the door open slowly. I quickly stuffed the tweezers in a wad of toilet paper and stared at the unwelcome guest. It was my mom.
Roxanne: "Hey babe.....You have been in here for more than an hour. Everything OK?"
Every fragment of my mind was telling me to keep staring at the shiny glass square before me. I had always watched t.v. shows late at night of people with addictions.
There were people who did drugs and chain smoked. I always thought of them as people who didn't care. I thought they could pull back and that they were just not trying hard enough.
But now I knew that's not how it works.
My addiction was something so much different. I was addicted to the mirror.
I was addicted to perfection.
I studied every millimeter of my face picking at the imperfections until my face was covered by swollen little blistery things. I steadied myself on the bathroom sink.
It hurt terribly but I couldn't stop, I couldn't stop.
As I continued with picking away the little bumbs in my skin, I heard the door open slowly. I quickly stuffed the tweezers in a wad of toilet paper and stared at the unwelcome guest. It was my mom.
Roxanne: "Hey babe.....You have been in here for more than an hour. Everything OK?"
I let my dark hair fall so she couldn't see my war-torn face. I nodded to her and rushed out of the bathroom, feeling ugly without my shiny glass oasis. I needed it. For my own survival. I needed it.
The Night came and went.
I woke up to warm waffles made my my step-brother Sammy. They were charred around the edges yet they still tasted good. I ate in the backyard, away from any windows or prying eyes. I shivered at the thought of them seeing my face. It was full of puss filled swollen bumbs that changed colors. Sometimes blood trickled down my cheeks too.
But the insane thing is despite the horrible pain it scarred me with, I felt like doing it again and again. My face felt so dirty. All the time. Now matter how many times I washed I still felt filthy. I could feel germs all over my face yet I couldn't see them.
But I knew they were there.
I pulled my hello kitty backpack on to my shoulders and headed for the bus stop, which was conveniently enough, right in front of our house.
Good, less germs to get from those sick, unhealthy hobos.
I stopped myself. Stop thinking like that! There were no hobos in Sunset Valley anyway. But there were those genetically tortured Bunches.Who had blond hair like that anyway?
I was interrupted thinking by a certain Belinda Robinson.
Belinda: "Ally Cat!! It's Saturday!! No school!"
I had never hated a Saturday so much as I did today. School was my only escape from my "sickness".
I let my sandle clad feet trudge slowly up the front porch and back inside. I avoiding letting any part of my bare skin hit the grass, who knew what germs could lurk under there? And bugs! The thought made me cringe and give a shot of pain through my picked apart face.
I looked over, not expecting to see anyone but Belinda and Madeline. Mom was at that germy little diner downtown and daddy was usually doing.....hmmm, what did he do?
I was shocked when there he was looking disgusted by something. I saw him in his typical work outfit. I wasn't paying much attention though. I just covered my face and hopped into my room and pulled out a little cheetah print case from under my bed, pilfered from the bathroom cabinet. I looked at my nails and was horrified that they had grown overnight. This could not do! I pulled out the silver instruments and started to do what I had to do:
Feed my Sickness.
That night, I dreamed about the ocean and the limitless bounds it surrounded.
I could be there.
The idea thrilled me. I could escape this place. I wouldn't have to be like this.
I could sail the ocean blue, no mirrors or anything to feed this horrible feeling I had in the pit of my stomach. Yes, that was it, I had to escape.
And the sooner the better
I woke up with the sun blaring relentlessly through the window, causing me to wake up at a very unreasonable time for a lazy Sunday. I fell out of bed, my body clonking to the pink padded floor. Neither Madeline of Belinda were startled, they were both the heaviest sleepers in the world.
My hands suddenly flew to my face. I felt all over the pale skin and couldn't find any obvious flare ups or marks. (Except the marks I had given myself of course.) I let out a sigh. I had to stop this. I didn't need any help. I was perfectly normal. No sarcasm is that statement at all.
I slipped on a clean pink dress and trudged into the kitchen/Mom and dad's room/Brian's and Sam's room. Bri and Sammy were still sleeping happily and mom and dad were at work. I smelled the intoxicating aroma of cookies and looked to the counter. There was a note:
Kids:
Please don't eat the cookies!
They are for Claire Ursine and her daughter.
Love,Mom
P.s. Bri:A girl called today and
said she wants to talk to you.
Don't scare her off, I want more grand kids!
♥♥♥
I crumpled the note into a ball and flicked it gracefully into the nearest trash bin. I peeled the saran wrap off just a bit so I could grab one. I lifted one gently.....gently...
Sam: "Mmmhh cookies, is there some for me?"
I flung the cookie up high I was shocked so much. I could feel my heart beat under the thin pink fabric. My body shook, filled with a healthy dose of adrenaline.
I ran into my room, a little tiffed that I was so close to having that cookie. Now it was on the ground. Infested by germs. Probably covered in disease. And insects. I cringed.
I decided to do my morning routine. I grabbed an extra pair of tweezers in my nightstand. I guess you can kinda tell what my "morning routine" is.
But I can't help it.
As I was about to leave, knowing full well I was about to confess to the sick monster inside me, Sam caught me by the arm and quickly looked at the little metal instrument in my hands.
Sam: "Sorry I upset you I had no idea.Tweezers? Watcha gonna do with those?.."
I snatched my arm away and looked at him furiously. I could see that when he looked at my face directly he was shocked.
Sam: "Ally cat...what happened to your face?"
He rested his big hand on my little shoulder. I could feel the warmth in his hand settle into my cold little frame. I was so tempted to settle into it and release my sadness and anger and.....sickness. But I was to strong to do that. After all, I can't be that screwed up right?
Alice: "I fell on my bike a few days ago coming back from school. It'll go away."
I pushed away the tender hands that cared and welcomed the solitude of the world around me. The rest of the day was spent crying in the inside and picking out the little blond hair in my legs one by one. Nobody was around so I could do pretty much anything I felt like doing. And sometimes that was a bad, bad thing.
At about 5:00 P.M. when the sun was still high in the sky and I was still down in the dumps mama came home with a friend. I guess his name is Jared or something, but I don't really care. He tries to buddy up with me and my sisters but Belinda is the only one who shows any sort of respect towards him. I just can't get over the feeling he is here for a bad, bad reason. And Madeline, well she simply couldn't care less.
Mom made us all a cucumber stew. It tasted horrible to me and my sister's under developed palettes, which were used to eating nuked TV dinners and happy meals.
Me and Belinda made no show of our disgust but Madeline spit it out and immediately grabbed a Pop-Tart from the cabinet.
Madeline: "This is REAL food!! That stuff is a horrible excuse for a dog's dinner!"
Sometimes I don't know about Maddy.
Suddenly dad opened the door and Belinda rushed to wrap her arms around his waist, like she did every night. It irked me a little when she got all the attention. OK it was a little more than an irking, it stung bad. I felt alone in this big, tangled family.
Daddy said his good-nights and immediately crashed on the old bed. He must have had a rough day at work. Once again I wondered what he did that made him this exhausted...
But in the middle of my thinking I was interrupted by shrieking coming from my room.
Mom's voice. I opened the door and couldn't believe what I saw next....
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13 years ago
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14 years ago
5 comments
Sorry about the choppy chapter, it was a bit of a mashup of leftover pics before the girls become teens (hopefully next chapter!)
I have been struggling with picture quality since I started this blog....they always seemed so blurry, dark and depressing. I never edited by pics prior to this update but now I photoshop them to my liking and upload them to photobucket so they are clearer. I will be making bigger pictures in future updates so you can catch some of the little details in pictures.
And if you are wondering what "sickness" little ally Cat has, it is OCD.
I decided she will battle with it through her life. Yes, this is a real string of OCD. (Picking at face, obsessing over cleanliness, etc.)
I hoped you enjoyed this chapter at least a little bit, and it would be great if you could comment and tell me what you think!
Hugs, Taylor ♥♥♥
Posted on August 25, 2009 at 8:00 PM
Hi, i just read your whole legacy from beginning to end, and I love it! Don't ever doubt yourself because your style and story is great, and I personally think the drama and sad moments inject a real life feel into the story. After all, life isn't always rainbows and butterflies! I feel bad for little Ally and I'm kind of afraid of Madeline lol. I'm loving everything about it. You can stop by and read mine if you have a chance, but I haven't updated in a while because I've been busy with school. It's still a work in progress.
lovelacelegacy[dot]wordpress[dot]com
Keep up the good work!!
Posted on August 26, 2009 at 9:07 PM
Oh my goodness, I appreciate your comment so much. Today was a bit of a rough day and I needed a little happiness boost. So thank you, I am flattered that you like my little blog.
P.s. I just checked out your legacy. My goodness, it is so interesting!! I couldn't stop reading and your founder has such a cute little attitude. I laughed so many times reading it. :-)
Posted on August 26, 2009 at 9:44 PM
I loved it! excellent as always! Keep updating you are an amazing writer! I just had my first set of triplets and boy are they annoying as babies! Anyway, love the story!
peace,
Veronica
Posted on August 28, 2009 at 8:56 PM
Thank you Veronica! I gots the warm fuzzies now!!
I should be updating soon, today or tomorrow probably!!
Posted on August 30, 2009 at 12:56 PM
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