OK so I am going to get right to the chase. I deleted all 5,786 pictures on my computer. They were all my screen shots from The Roxy Chronicles. I just felt.....like my blog was slipping and that I didn't have any passion in it at all. I just lost the happiness and excitement I got from posting a new update and such. That, and I am starting school and I don't want a legacy, which is about 4 generations behind between my blog and my game get in the way of my grades and homework.

(But they sure look cute)
Alice Narrating

Voices in Unison:"SURPRISE!!!"

The sudden greet when I opened my door shocked my heart. There were lots of faces. Momma and Brian and this black haired girl with braids. There was also Sam, Brian and Bella and little baby Omar, who was tan and had big black eyes just like his momma.The last face I saw was Jared Frio's, who was putting on a face of faux glee and happiness. I stared at them confusingly. They smiled back, all their eyes full of happiness. I had never seen my family so untangled and put together. For this little moment I didn't feel like my family was totally dysfunctional. But I'm sure if I gave it another hour, we would be another hot mess.

Roxanne: "Hey baby!! Happy Birthday!! Now where are your sisters? And your dad? You three girls should have came at the same time.Then you would have gotten the full impact of the surprise..."

She didn't seem upset by the somewhat botched surprise party. Her eyes were dancing with happiness and joy. I had always thought of my mom as a pretty average looking person but when she was full of joy she was really pretty.

After hugging each of my family members, Belinda and Madeline arrived, along with daddy, who was wiping the sleepies from his bloodshot eyes.

Roxanne: "SUUURPRISE!!!"

She said for a second time, looking at my tow sister's faces.

Madeline: "We heard you mom. The whole house could hear you guys. I guess the surprise is ruined. Woop-de-do."

Everyone stared at Madeline for a very awkward moment. She stuffed her hand into a bag of cheeto's and emerged with a full grip of orange puffs. Madeline:

"When do we *munch* get some cake *crunch* this is a party right? Or am I going deaf?"

Momma blushed at her obnoxious outbursts and decided it was time to get this party kickin'.

We were then escorted outside, little Omar crying in momma's arms. On a little stone patio was a cake frosted with all the colors of the rainbow. Belinda was instantly jumping up and down asking to go first. Momma looked at daddy and told her to wait just a little bit.


We found out why we should wait when a line of cars parked their way across the street from our house. I scratched at my face anxiously as the happy faces of our visitors approached. My heart filled with razor sharp butterflies. I hated having attention on me.
I hated having to hide my sickness from my family let alone the whole neighborhood.


A blond kid came too I guess. When Belinda saw him she ran up and hugged him, almost sending his sandwiches flying. She blushed when he said happy birthday. I felt a pang of jealousy. I had never had many friends in school. Belinda had many. She had everything.
I had just about nothing. See the pattern??


The house was crowded with people. Mom served some of that gross cucumber stew stuff and it seemed to be a hit. I couldn't see why.


Brian was talking to the girl with braids most of the time. She talked in a funny accent though. She was all like "Vu you vunderstand Vrian?" and "I need vore juice Vrian"
She sounded pretty snotty so I stayed away from her. I'm sure Madeline will make fun of her later.

Everyone continued talking while I resisted the impulse to pick myself clean at the mirror. At that moment, with all those people I felt very unclean. I must have changed my dress four times during the festivities. Nobody seemed to notice my clothing changes and I kept my hair hiding my face at all times. I stared out at everything in front of me.

I was the outsider looking in.


I stepped outside. There was my sister, pairing her favorite rainbow t-shirt with a frown.
I put a hand on her shoulder gently, and looked into her lilac eyes. A tear had made it's way onto her cheek but she quickly wiped it off with the back of her hand. She smiled bravely at me and hopped up to her feet.

Maybe Miss.Lilac eyes didn't have it so perfect after all.



Suddenly the party crowd was released on to the little patio, disrupting Belinda's show of her human side. The whole family and friends were there and hooting and hollering for the first second generation girl Robinson to become a teen. Or they just like making a lot of noise.

Belinda's birthday song was played and she blew out the candles.

And the birthday obviously worked because there was my sister bigger than I remembered her and with momma's haircut. She smiled big for all our family to see. Too bad I knew that she was breaking inside about something.


I looked at her in the eyes the same moment she looked into mine.
It was as if she was letting me into her soul so I could take a look in and see how things really were. All I could see in those purpely eyes were sadness twinged with worry. Now I really wondered what was up. I was never close to Belinda but at that moment we understood each other. Too bad the moment would end when she was swooped into hugs from momma and daddy.


The little blond kid who brought the peanut butter sandwiches was pretty happy about Belinda's "transformation" After it all, he kept staring above her belly button but below her neck. He was just entranced. When daddy saw he instantly told him to go and check if there was any fruit punch in the fridge. (We never bought any)


And as Belinda jabbed a fork into her birthday cake half-heatedly, a loudvoice shouted through the crowd.

Sam: "HEY EVERYONE! WE HAVE AN ANNOUNCEMENT!!"

Everyone turned their heads to Sammy, who had his arm twisted around Bella's waist.
Bella smiled gingerely at him and kissed his cheek. A gentle "Awww" waved through the crowd. Madeline cackled menically, like she had done all through Belinda's birthday.

Sam: "Me and Bella have some very important news to share...."

Little Omar twisted around Bella's arms at his daddy's voice. Sam patted his little bald head and squeezed Bella further.

Sam: "The news is that earlier today I asked an important question to my beautiful Bella.
And, Thank God she accepted. WE'RE GETTING MARRIED!!"

The whole crowd erupted into applaud and congragulations. Momma had burst into tears of joy and was hugging daddy and staining his blue shirt with salty tears. I even had a smile. Sam had always been a big part of my life and even though he was only my half-brother I loved him like he was my whole brother. And it was good that he was finaly moving on with Bella and about to start a real life. Some day I wanted to leave this place like Sam.

When everyone was inside congratulating the new fiances Madeline and me decided to celebrate our birthdays alone. I don't think I could have taken 30 something people staring at me as I blow out my candles. It sent a shiver down my spine. So I cheered on Maddy as she glared at the cake suspiciously.

Madeline: "Do these candles contain trans-fat??"

I looked at her, confused.

Alice: "I don't know Maddy.....I don't think so. Becau-"

She cut me off.

Madeline: "SILENCE!! Can't you see that the chili peppers are sleeping?!?"

I ignored her. She was having one of her episodes or "malfunctions" as me and Belinda called them.


Madeline: The sparkles!!! They will destroy me!!!"

I guess she didn't change much.


I stepped up to the frosted cake with the twinkling candles and closed my eyes. I wished for happiness. I hope that isn't to broad for the Birthday wish fairies. I just wanted my face to feel like mine again and I wanted to be like Belinda, who could make a friend just by smiling at someone. I opened my eyes and blew out the little flames.

Belinda

Madeline

And then there was Me


And even though I had a new face and a new body, I knew my mind hadn't changed.
I still craved the mirror, and I knew that it would only get worse.

I just hope I don't die for this.

I let my dark hair fall so she couldn't see my war-torn face. I nodded to her and rushed out of the bathroom, feeling ugly without my shiny glass oasis. I needed it. For my own survival. I needed it.


The Night came and went.


I woke up to warm waffles made my my step-brother Sammy. They were charred around the edges yet they still tasted good. I ate in the backyard, away from any windows or prying eyes. I shivered at the thought of them seeing my face. It was full of puss filled swollen bumbs that changed colors. Sometimes blood trickled down my cheeks too.

But the insane thing is despite the horrible pain it scarred me with, I felt like doing it again and again. My face felt so dirty. All the time. Now matter how many times I washed I still felt filthy. I could feel germs all over my face yet I couldn't see them.

But I knew they were there.

I pulled my hello kitty backpack on to my shoulders and headed for the bus stop, which was conveniently enough, right in front of our house.

Good, less germs to get from those sick, unhealthy hobos.


I stopped myself. Stop thinking like that! There were no hobos in Sunset Valley anyway. But there were those genetically tortured Bunches.Who had blond hair like that anyway?

I was interrupted thinking by a certain Belinda Robinson.

Belinda: "Ally Cat!! It's Saturday!! No school!"

I had never hated a Saturday so much as I did today. School was my only escape from my "sickness".


I let my sandle clad feet trudge slowly up the front porch and back inside. I avoiding letting any part of my bare skin hit the grass, who knew what germs could lurk under there? And bugs! The thought made me cringe and give a shot of pain through my picked apart face.

I looked over, not expecting to see anyone but Belinda and Madeline. Mom was at that germy little diner downtown and daddy was usually doing.....hmmm, what did he do?

I was shocked when there he was looking disgusted by something. I saw him in his typical work outfit. I wasn't paying much attention though. I just covered my face and hopped into my room and pulled out a little cheetah print case from under my bed, pilfered from the bathroom cabinet. I looked at my nails and was horrified that they had grown overnight. This could not do! I pulled out the silver instruments and started to do what I had to do:

Feed my Sickness.


That night, I dreamed about the ocean and the limitless bounds it surrounded.

I could be there.

The idea thrilled me. I could escape this place. I wouldn't have to be like this.
I could sail the ocean blue, no mirrors or anything to feed this horrible feeling I had in the pit of my stomach. Yes, that was it, I had to escape.

And the sooner the better


I woke up with the sun blaring relentlessly through the window, causing me to wake up at a very unreasonable time for a lazy Sunday. I fell out of bed, my body clonking to the pink padded floor. Neither Madeline of Belinda were startled, they were both the heaviest sleepers in the world.

My hands suddenly flew to my face. I felt all over the pale skin and couldn't find any obvious flare ups or marks. (Except the marks I had given myself of course.) I let out a sigh. I had to stop this. I didn't need any help. I was perfectly normal. No sarcasm is that statement at all.


I slipped on a clean pink dress and trudged into the kitchen/Mom and dad's room/Brian's and Sam's room. Bri and Sammy were still sleeping happily and mom and dad were at work. I smelled the intoxicating aroma of cookies and looked to the counter. There was a note:

Kids:
Please don't eat the cookies!
They are for Claire Ursine and her daughter.

Love,Mom

P.s. Bri:A girl called today and
said she wants to talk to you.
Don't scare her off, I want more grand kids!

♥♥♥

I crumpled the note into a ball and flicked it gracefully into the nearest trash bin. I peeled the saran wrap off just a bit so I could grab one. I lifted one gently.....gently...

Sam: "Mmmhh cookies, is there some for me?"

I flung the cookie up high I was shocked so much. I could feel my heart beat under the thin pink fabric. My body shook, filled with a healthy dose of adrenaline.
I ran into my room, a little tiffed that I was so close to having that cookie. Now it was on the ground. Infested by germs. Probably covered in disease. And insects. I cringed.
I decided to do my morning routine. I grabbed an extra pair of tweezers in my nightstand. I guess you can kinda tell what my "morning routine" is.

But I can't help it.


As I was about to leave, knowing full well I was about to confess to the sick monster inside me, Sam caught me by the arm and quickly looked at the little metal instrument in my hands.

Sam: "Sorry I upset you I had no idea.Tweezers? Watcha gonna do with those?.."

I snatched my arm away and looked at him furiously. I could see that when he looked at my face directly he was shocked.

Sam: "Ally cat...what happened to your face?"

He rested his big hand on my little shoulder. I could feel the warmth in his hand settle into my cold little frame. I was so tempted to settle into it and release my sadness and anger and.....sickness. But I was to strong to do that. After all, I can't be that screwed up right?

Alice: "I fell on my bike a few days ago coming back from school. It'll go away."


I pushed away the tender hands that cared and welcomed the solitude of the world around me. The rest of the day was spent crying in the inside and picking out the little blond hair in my legs one by one. Nobody was around so I could do pretty much anything I felt like doing. And sometimes that was a bad, bad thing.


At about 5:00 P.M. when the sun was still high in the sky and I was still down in the dumps mama came home with a friend. I guess his name is Jared or something, but I don't really care. He tries to buddy up with me and my sisters but Belinda is the only one who shows any sort of respect towards him. I just can't get over the feeling he is here for a bad, bad reason. And Madeline, well she simply couldn't care less.


Mom made us all a cucumber stew. It tasted horrible to me and my sister's under developed palettes, which were used to eating nuked TV dinners and happy meals.
Me and Belinda made no show of our disgust but Madeline spit it out and immediately grabbed a Pop-Tart from the cabinet.

Madeline: "This is REAL food!! That stuff is a horrible excuse for a dog's dinner!"

Sometimes I don't know about Maddy.


Suddenly dad opened the door and Belinda rushed to wrap her arms around his waist, like she did every night. It irked me a little when she got all the attention. OK it was a little more than an irking, it stung bad. I felt alone in this big, tangled family.

Daddy said his good-nights and immediately crashed on the old bed. He must have had a rough day at work. Once again I wondered what he did that made him this exhausted...

But in the middle of my thinking I was interrupted by shrieking coming from my room.
Mom's voice. I opened the door and couldn't believe what I saw next....

Ayesha Narrating


OK, people I am not evil.

Don't believe me? Fine, but I really don't care what you think.

Evil is a strong word after all. I like to think of myself as a woman who takes charge and gets what she wants when she wants it. That's not a lot to ask for eh?


You think I destroyed little Leighton's useless life? Think again. He was in a ditch before I graced him with my presence. He joined the Sunset Seven and got himself into all of this, I just helped the heartbreak along, gave it a bit of a push if you will?

And I will do it some more too. I hang around his house all the time while his dumb wife looks at me suspiciously. I just smile and rub my round belly, knowing full well she didn't know about her husband's little "oopsie" Maybe I would tell her one day. That would sure make for some fun little drama.


Observing Leighton's pitiful little family can also be interesting. Sam, the oldest child makes pathetic little paintings and dares to call them art. I always laugh at him but it doesn't seem to phase him.

Ayesha: "Hello Sammy....that is a new painting I see. Did you get lessons from your infant in painting? And where is your baby Sam? Alone with it's Mommy? Without a daddy?"


I really didn't expect to get a reaction out of him. He was still calm and collected yet his face was changing color. I could almost feel the angry heat levitate off his body. I gobbled it up, using it for a power source.

Sam: "OK miss Anasari. But I have a question for you. Why are you hanging around our house while you have a fiance and are so far along with your pregnancy? Does your fiance not love you or what?"

He paused to finish his little pathetic rant.

Sam: "Or is that even his baby? I wouldn't even be surprised if it wasn't. And you as damn well never insult my family again. They are and always will be better than yours."


I laughed yet his words triggered just a hint of sting in my heart. That was rare, I was so emotionally covered in sheets of armor that nothing usually phased me.
Yet, the pathetic boys little tirade made me think a little. I didn't show in my face though, that would be going against every rule I had grown up with. And there were a lot of them when you were the heiress of one of the Sunset Seven families.


That evening I spent the time lounging on Leighton's bed. I felt the texture of the sheets and wondered how many times he had washed it since our night together.
I would guess many, by the hatred he had for me and our unborn child.

I thought about a lot of things that evening. I thought about Leighton's filthy wife working herself to exhaustion in that dirty little diner. I thought about my fiance who was positively boring and had barely heard of the word drama, which is something I feed off of.

And then I thought about the baby in my stomach. The Sunset Seven would think it was my fiance's and they would never know that I was making my own little soap opera right here. And I loved it so very much. In truth, I couldn't care less about this little munchkin who was single handedly killing my perfectly toned waistline. To be honest, I just like the whole love-child aspect. The plot to my own storyline was positively heart stopping. Maybe I would write my own book.


I hopped off the bed and into the bathroom so I could deal with heavy pains in my stomach area. When I was done, I peeked into the bedroom to see that Roxanne and Leighton had come home from their jobs. I noticed they were yelling at each other pretty loud. I wonder if the little girls were hearing this and what they thought, but I didn't really care because all I knew that this was juicy. I just wished I had brought my popcorn.


Roxanne: "What is she doing here Leighton?? She has been just hanging around here for the past few months! In case you haven't noticed, we are not the richest family on the block. WE ARE ON FOOD STAMPS! And we are paying for her food!! Seven people live here, and she makes it eight!! She better start paying rent or I'm pushing her out the door!!!"


Leighton put his hands on his wife's shoulders but she pulled away.
I almost laughed but I knew the fun would be over if I had. I was just enjoying the conversation being all about me. I fanned my hair lightly and kept watching the fight.

Leighton: "I can't help it Roxy.....she has been erm, having a tough time with her fiance. He umm, doesn't want the baby something or other."

I rolled my eyes at his horrible skills at lieing. I can't believe she believed it.
Or maybe she wanted to believe it. Sometimes, when you want something so bad, you'll imagine things and not ask questions to avoid the pain. I knew that well.


Roxanne: "And that gives her the right to come into MY home and use MY things and look at MY husband with those eyes of hers? OVER MY DEAD BODY!!"

She was hot. Ew gross! Not like that. Hot as in angry, enraged,vexed and so on. It was music to my ears. It was like a warm cherry pie to my senses, eating up the tasteful aroma. Yet something felt wrong.


Leighton: "Rox...Your gonna have to trust me on this one. I have NO other choice."

I saw his hand motion the dead sign across his neck. Hmmm.....interesting. So I guess he did know I was here and he was trying to motion for her to drop it and talk about it later. It just got her more angry.


Roxanne: "YOU EXPECT ME TO JUST SHUT UP! WELL YOUR WRONG! I KNOW YOUR HIDING SOMETHING FROM ME! HEY, I WOULDN'T BE SURPRISED IF YOU FELL IN LOVE WITH HER AND GOT HER PREGNANT! I WOULDN'T EVEN PUT IT PAST YOU!"

The whole house was shocked by her outburst. It had more truth in it than she would ever imagined. But hurt crossed my stomach again. The pain felt terrible.


Roxanne: "Look Leighton I'm sorry.....I shouldn't have said that.....I guess ever since that night at the bistro-"

I couldn't take the pain any longer. I screamed out in pain and everyone came rushing in, including Leighton's children. I was scrunched up into a ball on the bathroom floor and I had never felt so weak in my life. I was suddenlyy aware of all the hate and sadness I had caused, and for once it didn't please me.

Despite Roxanne's obvious hatred of me, she helped me get off the floor and prepare to take me to the hospital. I decided she wasn't such a filthy woman after all.....I kind of liked her.


Roxanne stayed home with her kids while Leighton went with me to the hospital.
I couldn't help but sense the heartbreak in his expressions. I tried to suck it up and use it for my own pleasure but instead it left me with an odd empty feeling.
I was horrified when the image of 11 year old me being beaten until purple and raped until I trusted no one came into my mind.I had become an evil, vile person who didn't deserve to have an ounce of respect in this world.


I slammed the door of my big orange gas guzzler Daddy had bought me for my birthday and walked towards the hospital.

Leighton: "I'll wait here.......Hope it goes well."

It may have looked like I was rolling my eyes to passerby, but I was the only one who knew that I was blinking back tears. How could I have been so evil!!??


I walked in to the sterile white hospital and was instantly strapped to a wheelchair and moved to a hospital birthing bed, or whatever the hell it's called.


After 6 and a half painful hours of realization and giving birth, I emerged from the bleach smelling hospital with Colin a son. My son. I looked out at the dark, hot summer air and was not expecting to see him there. But he was there, and for some reason it filled my heart with joy. Was I in love with him?

He asked me if it went OK and I nodded. He nodded back and told me to please never see him again. I nodded and tears threatened to slip out of my eyes.He smiled just a bit and looked down at his son.Then he went to leave. I never felt my heart talk to me so loudly. I called out to him.


Ayesha: Leighton! Love Roxanne forever! Never let this get in between you and her! I'm sorry!"

He nodded his head and smiled a shaky smile.

Leighton: "Keep him safe."

That was the last thing he said before he disappeared into the darkness to love his real family. I hoped him and his wife would make ammends, and that I hadn't screwed things up to much. But I was so glad that I was not under the influence of evil and vileness, which was tearing peoples lives apart.


And even though I knew that we would never see each other again, and that he would always hate me no matter what, I knew he would be happy, and that was alright with me.

Or was it??